Trump Ripology: The New Psychological Science of Trump’s Torn-up Pages
We need an immediate Freedom of Information Act Request for all of the pages that Trump has ripped up. Which ones they are, and the different patterns of ripping them up, will provide us the deepest insight into the subconscious mind of Our Supreme Leader. (I’m pretty sure that after 40 minutes alone with Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, that that is the new title and position that Trump aspires to. Look at all the unnecessary praise that he gave the cruel dictator.)
The two ex-employees who were the re-assemblers and preservers of these documents, which is required by law (Federal Records Act of 1950, updated in 2014 by President Obama to include electronic records), would be nominated for a Nobel Prize in Psychology or Presidentology, if such existed.
I’m pretty sure that the debate as to whether Trump violated the law by tearing up the pages will go on forever.
First of all, Why? Why does a President, who’s sanity is often in question anyway, engage in such childish behavior? Oh, I guess that I just answered that question — an all-encompassing childish behavior syndrome.
Since the Ripology study will reveal the Deep Soul of Trump, rather than just looking him in the eye, it must be a science whose results remain National Super-Top Secrets. The ripped up documents must be vaulted for 50 years, as well as the studies. Only when the fourth President in the Trump Dynasty ascends to the Throne will they be released.
However, leaks occur, especially leaks associated with Trump and the desire to win the valuable “You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up” prize, probably soon to be funded by a wealthy opponent of Trump’s.
Not being an expert in Ripology, I can only speculate what the judgement criteria of the new science will be. Obviously size and shape are all important. Some documents were probably only deserving of a single rip. Others, deeply resented by Trump, and which he wishes did not exist, will be torn to shreds. Those are the most valuable ones.
The Grand Prize of Ripology will be to find the Pages of the Constitution that Trump ripped up. Eventually, at the rate that Trump is going, Ripologists will be able to assemble a complete copy of the Constitution. Key, will be any evidence, from fingerprint searches, of whether Trump actually read any of the Constitution. Did Trump take any of his prized POTUS supreme executive pens and cross out any parts of the Constitution before ripping them apart? Did Trump use an annotated copy which showed how the various sections had been applied?
Further, did Trump rip them starting in portrait mode or in landscape mode? Any videos of Trump actually ripping a document would be a priceless heritage in Ripology.
Did Trump actually drop them in a trash container? I doubt if Trump ever bothered to clutter the super-clean appearance of his office with a trash bin, even one embossed with the Presidential Seal. Any mess on his desk would make it look as if he was not the perfect executive, with the perfect mind that remembers everything, and never has to deal with any details.
So, Trump must have just dropped them on the floor behind his desk, in a flower pot, or on the serving tray of his Big Mac. (Since this is a University page, I must state that I am not endorsing any product, just assuring historical accuracy.) Any testimony about his disposal method would be invaluable to this budding science.
The leakers must be encouraged to write the founding treatise answering these pressing questions. If they were present to see the Trump’s moods when he destroyed particular documents, that would be invaluable. They re-tapers don’t have to do any analysis.
The analysts will require new Academic departments, or perhaps a sub-department of the Trumpology department. There will be a Journal of Trump Ripology, not to be confused with the already expanding Journal of Trump Ripoffs. The academic major of Trump Ripology will be greatly chosen by students who want to study this most unique President in our history. As with the popular Trump University, they will want to learn how to be an instant and successful politician, with no training or background.
All foreign governments will have to have secret Trump Ripology Intelligence Agencies. There will be yearly Trump Ripology conferences at secret locations, to share their analyses. This subject will leave the DCCC and John Podesta Russian-hacked emails in the dust bin.
Hopefully, Julian Assange will gather some leaked information, so that the public will get some smattering of what Trump Ripology can reveal, before it is too late.
