The most common complaint I hear, as said in my last post, is when roommates bring people over to spend the night without alerting their other roommates ahead of time. Not only is this rude and inconsiderate, it can also lead to awkward situations especially if the guests are of the opposite sex.
Some of the negative things that can come from doing this includes resentment from your roommate, and decreased respect. It’s also a bad idea to bring guests to spend the night if you and your roommate already don’t have a good relationship with one another.
Personally, I’d be irritated with my roommate if she pulled something like that on me. However, don’t bottle in this irritation because it won’t help in the long run–unless you’re willing to wait and let your roommate do whatever she wants since you’ll be moving out by the end of the year anyway.
There are several things you can do to address this, anyway. Simply talk to her. Tell her that you didn’t appreciate her bringing someone over without telling you first. I would explain to her how it made me feel awkward and uncomfortable (granted that that was how you felt as well), then I would elaborate on how that violates basic trust and respect rules.
Basically, if you are bringing a guest over, inform your roommate. Tell them who that person is, what their relationship is with you, and then ASK them if they can sleepover for a night. Perhaps even tell them where you think the guest will sleep–on your bed, on the floor, etc. I don’t think a person would tell you no if you ask, unless that person has a really good reason not to want guests over in the room.
It would help you keep your relationship with your roommate on a good level, even if you two aren’t friends to begin with, and will save you some unnecessary fights. : )
Have you had any problems that are similar to this? If so, did you address it? What would you do to prevent awkward sleepovers or strains on your relationship with your roommate due to them?