Dear Donald, Please Keep Your Clowns Giuliani and Pruitt in Office. Signed, A Democrat
Trump’s Lawyer Rudy Giuliani and EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt are invaluable clowns who daily embarrass Trump and his administration. They are worth hundreds of millions of dollars of paid TV and Press ads to Democrats. Fortunately, Trump is defending them, as usual, since they supposedly show the wisdom of his appointments. Unfortunately, they will probably be shown out a back door when our attention is switched to other issues. The fact that Congressional Republicans are not censuring or calling for Pruitt’s firing is a great embarrassment to them with an upcoming election.
The main reasons Trump will get rid of them are egotistical. Trump loves his self-awarded superlative historical records, and both Giuliani and Pruitt are exceeding him in competition for the highly prized “You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up” award. They are also competing for the “Genius for Maximal Disruption” trophy, and the “Greatest Egomaniac Anywhere, for All Time” prize.
Rudy is a wonderful “lawyer” who’s apparent strategy is to blunt the upcoming Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Report by daily admitting another previously denied truth about the Trump campaign. Or, he is just a camera hungry clown, who can’t keep any secrets. He is worth a hundred investigators in revealing Trump secrets, and running up Trump level fantasies about the powers that President Trump alone possesses. Giuliani ranks among DC Comics Superman creator Jerry Siegel and Marvel Comics Stan Lee in creating special powers for the president. Like being above the law, and being able to pardon himself. With his obsequious staff and Congress, Trump’s only Kryptonite is the Free Press.
Rudy is also a master at sewing dissension among Trump’s legal staff, communications department, and even among Trump’s family. He also is bringing in wads of money for TV networks who can score an interview with him, since he always has a new shtick to present.
Then there is the current leader of the “You Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up” award, the EPA Overlord, Scott Pruitt. Who else could imagine that everyone in the agency is there to serve himself and his wife personally. He also imagines that he is so important that he needs an around the clock 30 person security detail. He cannot fly unless isolated in first class, and his airfares have to be covered by “talks” he is giving wherever he flies. Currently, he has about 20 abuses of personally using staff for personal errands, or spending money illegally. I can’t do justice to all of them in this small a space. The news is currently only calling him a grifter. What an insult. That completely ignores his super-powers as the “Greatest Destructor of the US Environment, Ever”, another title that Trump would be jealous of not winning.
Fortunately for Environmentalists, Pruitt is so egotistical in denying climate science, that his statements and acts can be used in court to defeat his actions, since EPA policies require the backing of the best science. That makes Pruitt his super-nemesis as well.
Origin Story: Pruitt had to flee his beloved planet, Oklahoma, after his fracking led to earthquakes that tore it apart.
Pruitt already has sub-directors and regional directors that can carry out his destructive plans regionally, which are called “The Environmental In-Justice League”. If Pruitt is replaced by a non-grifting, discrete, smooth Administrator, all of this Environmental In-Justice will still go on, but out of the public’s view. Environmentalists need this clown to be in the public eye.
So for Trump, with friends like these, who needs enemies. They are also stealing the TV and Press spotlights from Trump, and we know how much Trump loves the spotlight, and arranges all government functions so that he is the lone star of all of them. Hail to the Chief.