Trump’s Increased Radiation Health Benefits Will Solve the Nuclear Disposal Problem
Trump’s discovery of a doctor who thinks that radiation is helpful to people’s health can help him personally solve the nuclear waste disposal problem. Let’s not get tied down in radiation units, in which I don’t know the limits. It is said to be equivalent to 25 X-rays. Today’s X-rays use much less radiation due to better detectors than in the past.
Trump just happens to have vast property holdings that can be seeded with radioactive waste and used to improve the health of the people who use them. I am of course referring to his vast golf courses, his hotels, and his Florida home and club at Mar-a-Lago.
Since most Republicans believe Trump’s very minority scientist’s opinions that climate change is a Chinese hoax, that smog health problem are safer than more traffic accidents, that increased floods are just natural fluctuations, that higher heat waves and resulting fires are just bad water management, and apparently that Mercury and coal ash are also good for you, they will also believe that radiation is good for you.
True radiation gourmets will of course set up different cuisines for positron, versus alpha particle, versus neutron radiation. Trump’s vineyard could become much more popular when it replaces or mixes its soil with radioactive waste. It can also be irrigated with radioactive waste water. There are enormous vats of such water next to the Fukushima reactors.
When Trump replaces the soil of his golf courses with mixed radioactive waste, and waters them with radioactive waste water, the grass should grow tougher. That will save the courses from getting a lot of Trump’s divots. Trump will probably have to take fewer Mulligans. When Trump drives his golf cart on his greens, it will even make the green stronger. He can even allow others to also drive on his greens.
When the Mar-a-Lago grounds are fertilized with radioactive waste, and the pool refilled with radioactive water, Trump can raise the entrance and yearly fees. Even his “best chocolate cake in the world” could be converted to a health food as well.
Of course, Congressional Republicans will be discouraged from overturning the new limits. Trump can reward them by replacing their office carpets with ones woven with wool from sheep from Chernobyl. He can also supply them bottles of healthful radioactive water from Fukushima.
Republicans can feel less guilty about killing Obamacare if they can improve American’s health with reservoir water mixed with radioactive water.
When I was a kid, my feet were X-rayed by shoe companies to guarantee a good fit. I was very proud of getting my first Radium glow-in-the-dark watch. People used to bathe in Radium Baths for improved health. Bring Radon housing materials back. Make America Retroactively Radioactive!