A product I love … and hate

Behold, the Miele “Pure Suction” Compact Vacuum. I love things about it and hate things about it.
To say that I love this object (“Miele”) is wildly overstating my affection towards it, but I will say it is a fine sucker of dust, dirt, and hair. A lot of other vacuums have critical flaws, from poor suction to incredibly heavy, and frankly, they blow.
I moved in, and there it was. I don’t love carpet but I do like clean carpet, so I soon found myself looking for a lost user guide. It is a testament to Miele that I did not need one, for the 80/20 rule of operation was in effect.
Miele exhibits proper adherence to important design principles. To begin, the unit is unmistakably a vacuum cleaner. In terms of overall design, its ancestral lineage can be traced clearly to the very first vacuum cleaners which surged from the primordial froth, liberating Betty Friedan’s people. It has a head on a stick, and a body trailing behind. Unlike a Dyson product, which does not look like a snake pulling a space capsule, the Miele maintains design consistency with its forebears.
Overall, Miele works very well. It is very light, and it is very quiet. And wow, can it suck. Form follows function. On my first pass, I was able to vacuum the heck out of my room. This was after I wrestled it out of the supply closet, difficult because it is a two-piece unit. The vacuum body is separate from what is clearly, in terms of constraints, the business end, which I learned is the “telescoping suction wand”.

The power cord is stored within the compact vacuum unit, the plug clearly visible, which afforded grasping and pulling on it to extend the cord and plug it into a wall socket. I was pleased the plug did not require a hidden release switch to extend the cord, an unexpected constraint that could have resulted in a broken fingernail.
Miele exhibits visible features beyond its core identity. These would be to provide priority visibility to the key functions of turning it on/off, and extending/retracting its sinuous black power cord from its candy-colored shell. Thus, having never used it before, I was immediately able to grasp Miele by its head-end, plug it in, and turn it on.
The operations of power and the cord retractor are aided by a team of affordances. The two priority features flank the body of the vacuum, aided by large gray button surfaces. Sensibly, the retraction button is proximal to the side it lives on. No driving into the gas station on the wrong side with this vacuum. The big buttons are further afforded by icons meant to be universal in nature – the retractor button sports an illustration of a three-pronged plug and coiled cord, while the power button features the ever-universal straight line through a circle? In any event, I recognize the plug, so by my keen power of deduction, I know the other.
Miele is the top-of-the-line vacuum because it sucks the heck out of the aforementioned grime, and, it has a great mechanism for retracting the cord. One of the irrational fears I have is that the cord will retract with such speed the plug would whip around like the snake it resembles, and batter my hand as I depress the retraction button. That has never happened, and I suspect significant design resources went into constraining that possible effect.
However, in the drive for more features and market share, it is as if a secondary design team was given the at-bat. Miele has a “system” for increasing and decreasing the suction of the unit and accounting for hard vs carpeted flooring. To change the function of one of these (I’m not sure which) there is a rotating dial with inscrutable icons for the levels. Ah, but if you look closely, someone has aided the odd mapping of the dial. The leftmost setting has been labeled with the word “min”, and the rightmost setting has “max”. I like the attempt to map the functions, but I’m still not sure what is being min’d and max’d.
Beyond the dial, the machine does not offer feedback to confirm the setting is what you want. I have a workaround, I listen to changes in the sound of the vacuum to determine its state. The lower the pitch, the less it sucks. That’s the mental model I have developed for it. I am pretty sure that model is wrong, because it still doesn’t work.
But wait, there’s one more switch on the head of the snake. I think one way is for hard flooring and the other for carpet, but when it is depressed this particular way, it sucks for dear life to the carpet AND to the hard floor. So that’s what that does?
These last two functions, unhelpfully afforded by beautifully legible graphics of uncertain meaning, are actually quite problematic because of Miele’s excellent suction. When the settings are improperly adjusted, which is always, I have to vigorously push and pull the wand end and it is not easy to move it along the surface.
Finally, Miele continues to offer one of the worst design features in vacuums. In hiding it’s interior components, the dust bag for the unit is entirely enclosed and hidden from view, just as it is with many other vacuums. That means I have no idea when to change the bag, and lie awake at night wondering when the bag is going to tear open and blow me away in a vortex of dirt, dust, and hair. Sounds like modern art.
If that was not enough hate…
If I have not given adequate space to an object I hate, here is the HVAC controller in my little bedroom. I’m not sure if this controls just my room or if I’m torturing my roommate with my preference for an average room temperature of 24C. That is 75F to you, mate.
I operate it solely by pushing the down and up arrows.
After that, I am lost. You can push the buttons to set the time, which would matter if the unit knowing the time meant something significant. But when you push “Pgm”, the ability to control a target temperature is lacking, even though you can choose a day of the week and time. Curious. This constitutes a hated object, in which hate is much too strong, but nevertheless, I disdain to learn it.
If that was not enough love…
This is my Bagatelle leather skirt in oxblood. It is perfect. It has pockets, and it is pull-on. It is high-waisted. It is warm. It is chic. It is everything.
I also got it for $15 on eBay. So it is cheap, which makes me feel smug.
So you can see, there is a lot of emotional resonance with this object.