Written by Rena Zhu and Edited by Mehr Kaur Bawa
Having toxic friends can be psychologically and physiologically draining, especially when they are supposed to be your support group. It is important to recognize when a friendship becomes toxic, as the effects of a toxic friendship can induce stress. Though subtle, red flags can be detected if a little more attention is paid.
Such warning signs include the lack of attention and support, blurred boundary lines, betrayal of trust [1], and increased levels of stress. Toxic friends are able to continuously talk about how terribly their day went, but when it is their turn to listen, they often say they’re busy and end up disappearing. The boundaries that govern friendships are significantly blurred, to the point where gaslighting and manipulation are common [2]. Often employed to confuse and question an individual’s reality, gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to extract information through peer pressure, an insinuation of competition, an obligated sense of responsibility, etc. [3]. A study done by researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles has shown that dealing with a toxic friend affects an individual’s health by increasing levels of stress proteins that lead to inflammation within the body. The study explains that there are natural occurring stressors that are associated with inflammatory levels. However, there is a particularly strong correlation between higher inflammatory activity and social stressors such as rejection, confrontation, and potential threats. This suggests that stronger social connections and bonds have a large positive influence on an individual’s health, decreasing mortality rates by 50% [4].
Dealing with toxic individuals is an overall stressful situation, which is why how an individual recognizes and resolves this situation is important. Recognizing early warning signs and taking the appropriate measures are a few methods to avoid being taken advantage of. If necessary, cutting ties off with a toxic individual helps lift the emotional burden. That, in return, reduces stress levels, and in the long run, leads to more psychological and physiological benefits.
References:
1. Heitler, Susan. “8 Signs of a Toxic Friendship.” Psychology Today, Mar 25, 2016. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201603/8-signs-toxic-friendshIp
2. Scriver, Amy. “Abusive Friendships Are Real. Here’s How to Recognize You’re in One.” HealthLine. Sept 29, 2019. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-recognize-abusive-friendships#1
3. Sarkis, Stephanie. “11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting.” Psychology Today. Jan 22, 2017. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs -gaslighting
4. Slavich, G.M., Irwin, M.R. (2014). From Stress to Inflammation and Major Depressive Disorder: A Social Signal Transduction Theory of Depression. National Institutes of Health, 140: 774–815.