Conversations with My Roommate – Written by Robert Garcia

During my five years here at UCI so far, I have had three roommates from China.  I figured I’d make a post about cultural differences to describe some of the observations about the United States that these roommates have shared with me.

One of the biggest issues on this cultural spectrum has to do with individualistic versus collectivistic cultures and the social acceptability of standing out.  In the United States, we tend to take pride in championing individual freedom and diversity (though there are certainly plenty of intolerant people in this country).  People are encouraged to follow their dreams and pursue their own vision of who they wish to be, regardless of what anyone else thinks.  This is quite different than what my roommates have described as the norm in China.  In China, people’s identities are more closely linked with those of others, particularly family.  Individual goals are not considered superior to those of the group to which one belongs.  The result in our particular context can be differences in motivation.  My roommates have told me that they were pushed to pursue something practical, rather than what they would instinctively seek out.  This can be seen as a wise investment or an unfortunate loss of individuality depending on whom one asks.  It’s important to acknowledge these differences, as the ways one chooses to increase one’s motivation will depend on it.

Another manifestation of collectivistic cultures is a general unwillingness to stand out.  In graduate school, the roles of students change – they are expected to interact with research critically, adding their own critiques and expansions to the work.  My roommates described how their cultural norms discourage students from speaking up, causing disruptions or disagreements, and questioning a professor’s ideas or methods.  My suggestion and encouragement to students with these concerns is that they must trust that the professors here will not (or at least ought not) react negatively to honest comments if communicated in a respectful tone.  Do not be afraid to speak up to share your opinion or mention if something has gone wrong – professors in grad school prefer a first name basis of speaking to emphasize that they are among peers of equal standing.

On a somewhat tangential note, speaking of norms, I encourage students from collectivist cultures to not be afraid to talk to their roommates if they have concerns.  My roommates have told me that they try to avoid conflict, but open communication would often make their lives easier.  It’s better to address things early than to keep one’s mouth shut and let resentment build.  Be sure to ask questions and be observant and aware of local norms, as well.  Whereas in China, something as trivial as chewing with one’s mouth open is a compliment to the chef, the same behavior can be considered rude in the United States, for example.  You won’t probably know these things until you ask!

Hope this little discussion has been helpful!  Here is another resource:

http://china-nafsa.aief-usa.org/culture/differences.htm