Transcript of Podcast #24: Common Feelings and Experiences as a 1st Year Grad Student
In Attendance: Melisa Perut (she/they) & Sakshi Bajpai (she/her)
Melisa: Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of our GIC podcasts. My name is Melisa Perut, your host. Today we’re going to talk about common feelings and experiences as a first year graduate student and we have a Sakshi with us who is going to give us a lot of different experiences because she’s been on both sides of a graduate experience so Sakshi can you introduce yourself to us?
Sakshi: Sure. I am Sakshi. I am a PhD student in material science and engineering department. I use she and her as pronouns. And I’m looking forward to this podcast. Thank you for inviting me, Melisa.
Melisa: Excellent. So nice to have you, Sakshi. And can I ask you, where do you call home?
Sakshi: So I’m from India for me home is a city in the northern part of India called Lucknow. I have been around in India, but that’s where I would call my home always.
Melisa: Nice. And are you a returning mentor?
Sakshi: Oh yes, I am a fourth time returning mentor, so I’ve been here for 4 years. Excluding the one year as mentee so it would be my fifth year with GIC.I’ve been in roles of mentors and senior peer mentors and this time I’m the Assistant Coordinator of GIC so. Been around for a while, loved it. Yeah.
Melisa: And now she’s back. And Sakshi has been a part of, you know, the more, peer, roles in GIC so she has a lot of organizational experience as well. So if you ever needs more information about GIC, Sakshi is also a great resource for you all.
Sakshi: Always.
Melisa: Yes, exactly. And, I also like to ask, what do you like to do in Irvine in your free time?
Sakshi: I think the best part for me about Irvine is the beaches. So whenever there is a good weather and whenever I have time I would just run to any beach I could. And just enjoy a good sunset. Yeah.
Melisa: Nice. How do you get to the beach?
Sakshi: I don’t have a car so I generally take a cab or if I have friends who have cars I go by that. Yeah, I’m not a patient person to take buses like multiple buses. So. Yeah.
Melisa: Yeah, and it’s a really big hill. It’s you can go down, but it’s very hard to go back up to get back to Irvine.
Sakshi: Exactly. Yeah.
Melisa: Yeah, so I get that. But, thanks so much, Sakshi. So maybe we can start by asking you what was your first impression of UCI and Irvine in general.
Sakshi: Yeah, so I still remember, so I came in 2019 I was a master student back then and there were group of people who were picking us up. They were really nice and they offered to pick up us up from from LAX. And as soon as we got closer to Irvine, as compared to what I was seeing throughout the highway, which was traffic, it was so peaceful because I love greenery and Irvine is all about trees like big big trees. So I was very happy that it’s so, clean and quiet and calm. And that I think that even got better when I saw the campus of UCI. Like I saw Aldrich Park and that just looked like a hill station of India to me. It was so many trees and it’s hilly, right? So it was. It gave me that vibe when people just lying down there, studying or whatever talking. So I had a very good impression of it being a very calm and peaceful place which I really wanted to have.
Melisa: Yeah, I guess you came during the day then when you arrived.
Sakshi: Pretty much during the sunset time, so the best time.
Melisa: The best time. I came during night time, so I saw nothing. So my first impression was where am I? But it’s
Sakshi: Oh at night time it’s. Yeah, if you don’t see anything, it’s like nothing. No lights.
Melisa: Yeah, yeah, so it was quite interesting. So it’s great that you had like this very nice sense. And was it easy for you to adjust in Irvine as a graduate student then?
Sakshi: I would say it was fairly easy as in I never had any issues, getting to know or get things done. Whenever I had to. I think the only issue with adjustment is you are so far away from your home and especially if you are living on your own for the very first time. I have lived in dorms as an undergrad, but there you don’t have to worry about food and, and then lots of stuff that you have to as a graduate student. So like cooking and cleaning and laundry and everything. So. I was like, whoa, I’m in adult. I have to do all these things. So that was more in a personal aspect, but, Irvine, I think because at least there’s so many stuff around like not many stuff as in I agree that there’s not many entertainment stuff around, but all the basic needs you can get it covered. Like you have Trader Joe’s, Target, even if they are not the best they are still there. So for me as a graduate student to get my furniture, it was easy because I love the delivery system in Irvine, you just put in one address and they’re gonna put it over there and they can leave it there. It’s so safe that no one’s ever gonna take it. So it was easier to get all the furniture and as a master student I was looking for bare minimum like I didn’t have a couch for few months because I didn’t want to invest in couch at that moment. So adjusting in terms of home it was easier and in terms of environment I do find like people here are friendly everyone would talk to you and if you go as for help, they’re always there to help you. They would even do more. Sometimes they’re too talkative for me. That’s fine. I mean, I wouldn’t complain.
Melisa: No, definitely. If you go to Trader Joe’s, you’ll definitely have a conversation at the cash register.
Sakshi: Yeah, I was not used to it. I said, why are you talking to me? You don’t even know me.
Melisa: But yeah, it’s nice and it seems like you had like a nice adjustment. I think we’ve talked about, you know, here and there about, you know, ordering things and just having it come to the door and it’s how easy it is rather than just having to go and figure it out, right? And in the past years I’ve had, mentees or, that have ordered things before they arrived.
Sakshi: Yeah.
Melisa: And you just talk to your housing to know like, which apartment you’re going to be in and how you can get stuff delivered. So when students arrive, they already had stuff waiting for them in the mail room. So.
Sakshi: And even like for me, when we arrived, even though it was day, it was past 5. So the housing office and I was living in an off-campus housing so it closed so we were able to have someone help us pick up the keys from the housing even before that. So it was really nice to share by her like we didn’t know her she didn’t know us but people here generally tend to help you. Which I think is very nice. And also I think it was easy for me because I was with two other people. Like two other girls we came together so adjusting as a individual versus adjusting as a group just makes it easier because one can do one stuff and the other can take look after the other. So that was that made everything easier.
Melisa: Yeah, and as GIC, you know, people that are part of GIC, we kind of have this community and support.
Sakshi: Exactly. Yeah.
Melisa: I think it’s nice to have people that you can like ask questions and also get support from.
Sakshi: Yeah.
Melisa: What about the classes and workload? How was the adjustment to that? From the perspective of both a master student and a PhD student.
Sakshi: Yeah, so I think, this is where I’m, being a mentee, GIC really helped me a lot. My mentor was a material science PhD, same as my, department. So. I could even ask like a lot of questions even before I was here. So. before coming here, I was worried that, oh, do I need to, you know, learn certain things or be good at certain subjects before I start as a master, right now I’m just talking as a master student. So he was there. I was able to ask him that do you think that I need to do all this or as a master student I was also aware not worried but trying to look for sources of income, where could I get that like TAship or something. And I really liked that he was honest that it’s in our department, it’s not easy to get TAship. So, at least I was set to the realistic expectations that, yeah, don’t come with really high hopes but you can definitely try. So these were the things I was worried about and then as long as the courses go. They were, they were pretty good for me because the teachers or the professors have been nice. I have a funny story. So when I came in my first class of masters was at 8 am in the morning. Not the best time to have a good first class and then I go there and there was this professor he made us do breathing exercises. I as a new student would say, is that how it goes in US? Like, do you have to do breathing exercises every before every class? And it was only after like few weeks I realized that that exercise really helped me like be awake throughout the class and attentive. So he had a good formula. So that worked. As far as classes goes, if they, you have TAs as I said before that. Only thing that I didn’t shy away, I am a shy person, but I never shy away from asking for help. So if ever I had any issues I asked the professors or if there is a TA in that class. So for me courses were, nice and okay. There is workload. It’s not gonna be like you just go to the class and come back. There are at least for my in my case, they were assignments and something that really, really required some time. And for the first time, I didn’t realize that and I was like panicking the last night before the submission, but once I got the sense of it, it was easier. As a PhD student, it is, it might be a little difficult. Because you have to manage your classes and then you have to manage your research. So it would be very case by case depending on how your advisor is like my advisor understands when you have exams you’re not gonna be in the meetings or you might not do as much work as you might be doing before. So it becomes a little tricky for the PhD student, but for the master student again, they’re doing job search. So everyone has something to do beyond just the classes. And as long as you are careful enough like you, I am not a very disciplined person I was able to still manage like I am not totally not disciplined but I can do things well before time or well on time so as long as you do that it should be manageable and you don’t need to worry about learning anything beforehand because even though it a quarter system, even though it runs very fast. If you keep on track, you should be fine.
Melisa: Yeah, and In terms of TA ships. So TAships they can sometimes be a lot of work.
Sakshi: Yeah.
Melisa: Additional work. So the, you know, if you can choose, if you can list the class because you have to list your preferences and then you get assigned a TAship and you don’t know which TAship you might get. This is outside of the natural sciences. And you might get a TAship where you are very familiar with the topic. So preparation for the class, for your discussion sections might not take a lot of time. And if you teach that class a couple of times, throughout your years, then you already have your material so it doesn’t take a lot of time but if you end up in a class that you’re not familiar with. And you have to learn the material, which can happen. You still can request to change the class, but it’s still, it’s a very difficult process. So you should be prepared that you might end up in a class that you’re not familiar with that you have to teach and sometimes these TAships are only announced like what class you’ll be teaching, like a week or a couple of weeks in advance. So you need to, you will have maybe 2, 3 weeks to prepare for your first session. (weird noise in background) Sorry, that was the copy machine that kind of said I’m out. But yeah, so you will have to prepare yourselves for, for the TAships, as well. And if you’re a little bit anxious or get stressed out talking in front of crowds, then you should also prepare to mentally prepare yourself as well. (classes at the GPSRC like Activate to Captivate can really help prepare students for TA positions and teaching in academics in the future.)
Sakshi: Yeah.
Melisa: I always feel drained after I teach a class because I don’t like talking in front of a lot of students. So that day I kind of like set myself, in a way that I don’t really do mentally challenging tasks after my classes.
Sakshi: You actually brought up a very good point because in my second quarter I got a TAship. And that’s when I took one class lesser than I originally thought before I got to know that I’m getting a TAship. So because I knew that this is gonna be a new thing, this was especially the first time me doing any work with any professor in the States and you don’t know how things really work or what his expectations really are. I did this TAship with him the next quarter as well and that’s when I took the normal workload. But because that was the first time I wanted to make sure that I’m not saying that you have to have to drop the classes. It was just my approach that if I could afford to not have one class, one class lesson, I would do that because then I’ll be able to focus there and make sure that I do that thing properly. And for the TAship also I know a lot of international students for us, English is not the first language, but that’s what you’d have to use here, and especially if you’re teaching. Like I didn’t have to take any classes. My job was mostly to take down classes or just correct the exams or individualate or something like that. I never had to take a class. So it’s good that you share that experience and I think being fairly confident in speaking English and understanding English would definitely help. So if you wanna put effort in that direction, that might be a good thing as well.
Melisa: Yeah, I think that’s a great tip before you arrive. And Sakshi, Sakshi, do you, did you feel homesick? And how did you deal with that during your time here?
Sakshi: I feel homesick. I used to feel homesick a lot. But it’s funny, I feel homesick when I miss food. So I miss food and I feel home sick. So that’s the thing. If I miss food, I will, I didn’t cook back in India. But here I started cooking and so for me the feeling of home is sometimes eating good food. I do that and I make sure that I stay connected with my parents and my friends back home. And I do that like with my parents, I do that on a daily basis and with friends I do whenever all of us are free. So you are gonna feel homesick, none of us have superpowers that we are gonna adjust like that in a new environment. Everyone would have their different way for me, I would suggest stay connected to your roots. And that’s something I always, I tell my mentees, is whenever we are here and we try to adjust, we think that we are different. It’s okay to think that we are different, but that does not mean you have to change to something that you are not. You can stay connected to the roots and still be able to adjust to wherever you are. So that for me staying connecting to my roots is actually talking to the people who are back at home. My parents, my friends. And then adjusting you, we adjust like if you have to be open enough and talk to more people it gets easier. So when I’ve felt homesick my go to was to just talk to parents and have good food.
Melisa: I think that’s a great tip. I also like going to the supermarket Wholesome or, there’s a Turkish supermarkets in Fountain Valley that I go to, because it’s like you can find things from your home country and it’s a nice experience to be like oh I haven’t seen this in a while or I haven’t seen this in a while or I haven’t seen this in a while
Sakshi: Yeah. Yeah.
Melisa: So you can feel like you’re shopping at home a little bit. That also helps me.
Sakshi: And also like when we go to these grocery store and you see someone or hear someone talking in your native language, it feels so good. Oh, well.
Melisa: Yeah, yeah, it’s very nice. And You talked about having a lot of friends back home. What about friends here, was it easy for you to make friends when you moved here and do you have any suggestions for incoming students on how to make friends?
Sakshi: Yeah, it was not easy for me to make friends when I was here because, as I said, the reason I say that we think a lot about digesting because that’s what I did. Somehow I was very cautious of what I’m saying because I was so afraid that was right what’s wrong how do people like you I was trying to gauge people so much that I stopped interacting with them because I was afraid that what if I say something wrong or what if I, like what if they don’t like me? I was so in that zone. But having been in that zone, I know that that’s where you don’t want to go. And, that’s, one thing I’m gonna suggest. Everyone is don’t afraid to reach out to people. As much as I said that there are nice people there people who help you there are lots of them that you will find mean people do it’s not a perfect world and but those people should not stop you from meeting the nicer people around. So go around talk to them I started it with my classmate, classmates, because that’s those are the people you interact with regularly. So talk to them, be it doing homeworks together or just chilling out after classes. I was not down for that because I, don’t know, I was so shy that I was not ready to go out in groups. Which I would not recommend doing. It’s fine. Like go out if you have a bad experience, it’s fine. Don’t go again, but don’t decide it beforehand. Or take up new activities like if you want to, if you play something like say badminton, go play it because you’ll find people who have similar interests and it might be easier to bond with people who are similar, who have similar interest to you. And in last but not in least you bond with from your country like much quicker and much easier and they are also one of the people you go to when you want to feel like home. So definitely do that. I know some people try to think that, oh, we are here in the US. We want to have new experiences, for sure. But those people that kind of comfort that you’ll get from those no one else can give it. So just go out and interact as much as you can. It’s fine if you say wrong things. We all do mistakes. As long as you realize it and say sorry, it’s going to be fine and don’t, don’t reduce the chances of meeting nice people just because they’re as one or two mean people around you.
Melisa: Yeah, and I think, also where you live, you can make a lot of friends in your community. I live the housing that I live in I just went up and said hi to people. And some of them were very responsive and wanted to like talk and, you know, have conversations. Some of them weren’t as responsive, which is fine. You kind of, the more it’s like, you know, probability, right? The more people you say hi to and try to talk to, the more people you can find, right?
Sakshi: Yeah.
Melisa: If you say hi to one person, and if it doesn’t work out, that’s just one person. But if you say hi to everybody in your community, which I tried to do. You’re going to find some people at least.
Sakshi: Yeah, yeah, I think that’s where there might be. Well, maybe not. Like I know master student. Well, it’s changed now, the master student also get student housing but when I was a master student I was living in a community where there were no other students. So it was like families and all and they have their own life and they like, they sleep at 7 or 8. So it was hard to like interact with them. But If even if you can it’s nice as Melisa said, you need to increase your probability of finding your kind of people. So you need to have a example set.
Melisa: Yeah. Exactly. And I mean, there are many activities just like, Sakshi said, like you can go to like, and you can go play badminton, join a team at the ARC, if you’re like into any kind of sport and want to like meet people that are also interested in if it’s a sport that are also interested in if it’s a sport that you can’t play by yourself, Even if it’s a sport that you can’t play by yourself, you can like find a partner there. Or you can also like go to, they have like theater, or, you know, shows at the Barclay Art Center, that you can go to and you can meet people. For example, I want to a one man show of all three Star Wars movies.
Sakshi: Okay
Melisa: So it was just one person, acting out all three, the original Star Wars. It, it was an experience, I highly recommend if you ever because I think the same person is going to come back to do Lord of the Rings.
Sakshi: Okay.
Melisa: So I highly recommend it, but you get to see people and talk to people outside of the event center, that are also interested in, you know, being there and, you know, maybe they’re interested in what you’re about to watch. So. Don’t be afraid to go to events and do things. And you’ll find people.
Sakshi: Yeah, and also when you said that it just reminded me like in ARC, Anteater Recreation Center, you have like group classes. So you have zumba, you have yoga and all other stuff. So I mean, even if we don’t go out and meet, but I meet people who I can smile to and then you see them randomly in campus and then you’re like, hi, how are you doing? So I mean, that’s enough for me. It’s a way to know more people, even besides GIC. I mean, from GIC, I would not have known you otherwise, Melisa. So.
Melisa: Yeah, same because we’re soa part on campus so far.
Sakshi: Okay, I also come to GIC events, you know us.
Melisa: Yes, yes, absolutely. And you’ll meet a lot of people from different departments as well. So you’ll have a big community of friends here. So I would also like to ask, Sakshi, what would you like, incoming students to know, you mentioned that they shouldn’t feel pressured or stressed but are there anything else that they should prepare themselves for before they come to the States.
Sakshi: I think we cover most of the points. I would just say that I know when you’re coming to the States and especially if you’re doing it for the first time it’s, it’s a lot of stress like visa, packing and making sure that you don’t forget the things you do. And in doing so, don’t forget to have a good family time because we don’t go back that often. Like it’s not. We are generally far away from where we live. So like I go back once a year only. I know some people go twice. I’ve never heard people going back every month or like every other month. So that’s not gonna happen. So maybe that’s the time you’re gonna spend the most with them together so don’t forget to have a good family time. And then just come here, it’s not easy to be confident, but just be confident. It’s fine if you make mistakes. We always say sorry. That’s what my advisor says. It’s better to make mistakes and say sorry than not to do things. So this just do that and meet us, we are there as mentors, we are there. So feel free to shoot an email to us with any queries you have. And interact with as many people. I think we covered it pretty well. So I just don’t want to be repetitive. So, yeah.
Melisa: Yeah, no, absolutely. No, that’s great. Sakshi and I think spending quality time is really important, especially when you’re like trying to get everything ready. But I, this was the first time I went back home. In the last 4 years. So. It was, I started my program and I wasn’t able to go back home. So I highly recommend, you spending your quality time, learning the time difference. So you know, like when learning the time difference so you can prepare your friends and family on when you might call them or what time you might be available. So my family knows that I usually call them when it’s their night time because I called them in the morning. That works for me when I’m getting ready. So just prepare then so they know to expect a call from.
Sakshi: Yeah.
Melisa: Right. Well, thank you so much for your time, Sakshi. It was so great having you. And if anybody has any questions, Sakshi is a great resource so you can always reach out to her. And we’ll see you on the next podcast episode.
Sakshi: Thank you Melisa!
Melisa: Of course!