Graduate International Connection Program

Imposter Syndrome – Waiting For the Other Shoe to Drop

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Written by Bronte Charette

If you are anything like me, from the moment I was accepted to UCI I was waiting for someone to tell me there had been a mistake. Even when I started taking classes, I was overwhelmed by the seemingly advanced knowledge of my peers. I was constantly comparing myself to others and waited for someone to sit me down and tell me the jig is up. Luckily for me, my area advisor had seen this before and during an advising session, while discussing course options, he introduced me to a term called “imposter syndrome” or the “imposter phenomenon”. He told me that it’s normal to have these types of feelings and he went a step further and reassured me that I did in fact belong. As I continued in the program these feelings kept coming up, with every exam and presentation. Was this the time I would be exposed as a fraud? It wasn’t until I started to talk to my peers, especially the ones who intimidated me, that I realized, most of them felt the same way and it opened a door to new study partners and friendships. 

After completing the coursework requirements, a new struggle arose, it now seemed that measuring success had become less quantifiable since there are not the same kind of numerical measurements to benchmark success. I came to learn that this feeling is also normal, and I now continually have to remind myself that graduate school is a marathon, not a sprint, success will come. Here are some tips that I have picked up along the way to help myself gain some confidence and feel like I belonged here at UCI:

  1. Celebrate every success. No matter how small, let it be learning how to operate or fix a new instrument, obtaining a clean spectrum/measurement or something as simple as learning something new.
  2. Talk to your peers, they are probably feeling the same way.
  3. Embrace not knowing, you are first and foremost here to learn.
  4. Ask your advisor for updates on your progress and define clear short- and long-term goals (Individual Development Plans (IDPs) are super helpful for this).
  5. Remember that everyone started somewhere, don’t compare yourself to others, particularly senior lab members.
  6. Read, read, read, become familiar with things you are unsure of. Write down terms you hear in classes or meetings and look them up. 
  7. Take breaks. Sometimes taking a step back will help bring a new perspective to the problem.

This term “imposter syndrome” was first used in 1978 by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes (Rose, Suzanne, & Imes, 1978) where they found that no matter the accomplishment, people remained convinced they did not deserve their success. This led to distress and maladaptive behaviour. These feelings are often a result of confusion between approval and love and worth and can be inherent to our personalities or upbringing (Sakulku & Alexnder, 2011).  While this study focused mainly on highly successful women, men are not immune to imposter syndrome, in fact 70 % of all people experience imposter syndrome at some time in their life. This may begin to manifest itself in many forms (Abrams, 2018). 

  1. Perfectionism, setting very high or even unrealistic expectations, where not meeting these goals can feel like a failure. 
  2. Natural genius, those who have never felt academically inadequate before may struggle with the new demands of grad school.
  3. Superhuman, those who will push themselves to work harder than those around them to prove they belong. 
  4. Soloists, needing to accomplish everything on their own and asking for help feels like failure. 

I relate most strongly to trying to be ‘superhuman’ but as I entered my third year here I started to experience burn out. Other negative consequences of imposter syndrome can come up in the form of anxiety, stress, low confidence, shame and in some cases, depression (Dalla-Camina, 2018). These symptoms can lower the willingness to try new things and go after new and exciting opportunities, which is what graduate school is for. To help move forward, it is helpful to talk about these feelings with a mentor, safe peer group or counsellor (Phong Luong is an amazing resource here at UCI) to help normalize these thoughts. 

Ultimately, it is important to remind yourself when you are feeling imposter syndrome kicking in: you have worked extremely hard to get here, you deserve success, you are here for a reason and you are worth it.  

Further Readings on Imposter Syndrome 

Abrams, A. (2018). Yes, Impostor Syndrome is Real: Here’s How to Deal With It | Time. Retrieved June 19, 2019, from Time Magazine website: https://time.com/5312483/how-to-deal-with-impostor-syndrome/

Dalla-Camina, M. (2018). The Reality of Imposter Syndrome | Psychology Today. Retrieved June 19, 2019, from Psychology Today website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/real-women/201809/the-reality-imposter-syndrome

Rose, P., Suzanne, C., & Imes, A. (1978). THE IMPOSTOR PHENOMENON IN HIGH ACHIEVING WOMEN: DYNAMICS AND THERAPEUTIC INTERVENTION. In PSYCHOTHERAPY: THEORY, RESEARCH AND PRACTICE (Vol. 15). Retrieved from http://mpowir.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Download-IP-in-High-Achieving-Women.pdf

Sakulku, J., & Alexnder, J. (2011). The Impostor Phenomenon. The International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6(1), 73–92. https://doi.org/10.14456/IJBS.2011.6

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