Written by Kimia Montazeri
I am walking on the street, watching beautiful trees and flowers, listening to a relaxing violin with a nice touch of a cool breeze on my face, and yet, a mysterious and bizarre voice in a tiny control tower in my brain is sending constant reminders: “- Nope! You don’t get to enjoy this day lady! Do you even remember the submission deadline for the conference THIS week? Have you completely forgotten the manuscript that you were supposed to finish by the day BEFORE yesterday? How on earth can you keep up with the class you are supposed to teach on Tuesday? Oh! By the way, you should stop by the bank today on the way back home. You have to do the dishes this time, do laundry, go grocery shopping and cook! Oh! The dentist appointment tomorrow! … CALL MOM AND DAD!”
And here come the stress hormones! Raise in the heartbeat, quick and short breaths, headache, jaw tension, and teeth grinding. These are the outcomes of my daily conversation with the hypothalamus, sitting in a cozy chair in the center of my brain, sending orders!
Hypothalamus loves graduate school! It gets talkative and cheerful the second you apply. A cause for it to act in a power game. It took me a while to figure this out. I am not going to lie to you. I am a fourth year Ph.D. student, and I still struggle with stress and sometimes anxiety. After so many fights with the headquarters in my brain, I decided the last thing I want is that I graduate as a miserable person, having a constantly pounding heart, and an aching brain. So, I started to seek the rescue! It is normal for students like us to be stressed out about work. But it is always better to find a way to overcome it rather than get used to it.
Even before I moved to Irvine, I knew that it is located in southern California, it has one of the best weather conditions in the US, it is safe, it is heaven, and all of these fusses you hear, which are true, but most of the times you are so buried in work that you forget to appreciate. It has been almost four years that I live here, and I still sometimes ask myself: “Do you believe that you live somewhere that is ten minutes away from the Pacific Ocean?!” I was finishing my second year in UCI when I realized I have been to the beach less than ten times. That wasn’t a good sign, so I decided to change the routine. I started planning for the weekends. Early in the morning, I pack breakfast, a small towel, sunscreen, and a book, and we are off to the beach with my friends. We lay down on the beach, we talk, laugh, eat brunch, and just relax. Sometimes we walk in the trails near Laguna Beach and Montage resort. Other times, we check out the coffee shops in Newport beach, walk on the Huntington Beach pier, or just get our feet wet in Corona Del Mar. Believe me even a touch of the water to bare feet changes your mood for a day.
Walking is very pleasant for me. There are lots of beautiful places that I love to take a walk to. Near Balboa island, there is a 3-mile loop trail with a beautiful view of the bay. People go there to run, to ride their bikes, or just walk and enjoy a warm and sunny day. During the weekdays, when I do not have enough time to go to a far place, even a short walk in the UCI campus makes me relaxed. Sometimes after I leave my lab, I take a walk to the University Center, I check the stores, I get myself a cup of Boba milk tea or hot coffee, I check out Trader Joes for any new snacks that I haven’t tried and go back home. Even this simple route helps me clear my mind after a long day at work.
I live in Palo Verde, the graduate housing on campus in UCI. Last year, I heard that the housing offers small spots in the PV organic garden to graduate students who are interested to grow and harvest fruits and vegetables. I applied and by 10$ per year, I got myself a small garden. Oh, I loved it. I started growing strawberries, zucchinis, tomato, eggplants, and herbs. Every Saturday, I would go to the garden, water it, make it clean, and pick some vegetables. Gardening Saturdays made me so relaxed and happy. I love taking care of the plants. I also have several plants in my apartment. There is a beautiful place called Armstrong Garden Center to buy plants or to simply enjoy watching them. I sometimes take a few hours on the weekends to go and check out the flowers. I sometimes buy a few plants and come back to make my apartment live and green.
I have always been passionate about music. In fact, I am surrounded by music all the time. While I work, I listen to light music, mostly instrumental, so that I can concentrate. I listen to music when I walk to the office, and on the way back home. I also try to go to concerts. As soon as I moved to the US, I subscribed to the newsletters of all theaters in California. Whenever there is a performance, a concert, or a musical, I try to find affordable tickets. In UCI, Clair Trever school offers many events and concerts, which are either free or have special discounts for UCI students. I subscribed to their Facebook and Instagram pages and once in a while, I go and enjoy a beautiful performance.
I consider myself as an introvert person. I always feel the need to have time just to be by myself. This quality time clears my mind and helps me focus. I recently bought some calligraphy supplies, a pen, nibs, and some ink. Sometimes I pour myself a cup of tea, play some music, and practice alphabets from a calligraphy book for beginners.
As much as I love to have time for myself, I also enjoy spending time with my friends. I and my friends usually get together for dinner on Fridays to sit and chat. We have planned game nights once a month to spend a few hours playing board and card games so that we can forget the pile of work waiting for us early Monday!
I can never fight back stress and I cannot say to any graduate student not to be stressed out. But remember the chatty Hypothalamus bossing around in my brain? Now when I try, I can make it shut up and listen, while I have fun and do not worry!