Post by Kamal Bookwala, GIC Peer Mentor 2021
Imposter Syndrome. Ever heard of it? I am willing to hedge a bet that this not-so-fun phrase is, unfortunately, a very familiar foe for many of us graduate students. If you have not heard of imposter syndrome, this term, originally coined “imposter phenomenon” was first documented by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978 (https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1979-26502-001). Defined best by the Oxford Dictionary, this is “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.” What does that mean? That even though we are all high-achieving individuals, we do not actually believe that we deserve the success and accolades bestowed upon us. Basically, we sabotage our own success. Sometimes, imposter syndrome can even manifest as anxiety, stress, and depression.
If this phenomenon sounds even the slightest bit familiar, then I cannot recommend this video by TED-Ed enough! If you have 4 minutes to spare, I promise you will feel so much lighter after giving it a listen. In fact, I would even bookmark it at the top of your current web page so that the next time imposter syndrome decides to rear its ugly head, you have a quick reminder of its prevalence and how to combat it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQUxL4Jm1Lo.
The vast majority of individuals experience some form of imposter syndrome. In fact, some of the highest achieving people in the world have discussed their own imposter syndrome, including Michelle Obama, Albert Einstein, Dr. Margaret Chan, and Agatha Christie, just to name a few. Even more individuals and their statements about imposter syndrome can be found in this article here: (https://charlesstevensoncoaching.co.uk/57-famous-people-reveal-how-to-overcome-imposter-syndrome/).
Now, I might not be the next Obama or Einstein, but one thing I do have in common with these incredible humans is the feeling of imposter syndrome. During my graduate school career so far, I have frequently called my mom telling her that I just do not understand how I am here in graduate school or that I am just too ‘dumb’ to be getting a doctoral degree. While deep down I know that every time my mom reminds me of my successes and reasons for being where I am today, that she is right; I cannot help but feel as though I somehow got here fraudulently or that I am the only person in the world feeling this way.
A concept highlighted by the TED-Ed video is ‘pluralistic ignorance’. This idea is that “virtually every member of a group privately disagrees with what are considered to be the prevailing attitudes and beliefs of the group as a whole [proposed in the 1920s by Floyd H. Allport]” (https://dictionary.apa.org/pluralistic-ignorance). Now, what does that have to do with imposter syndrome you ask? Well… it is the idea that most of us are all feeling the same emotions related to imposter syndrome but since we are all convinced that no one around us could possibly be feeling the same way, we keep it all bottled up inside instead of talking and letting it out. Most importantly, “the reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steve Furtick.
So, now that we know what might come knocking at our door during our careers, how do we combat this ugly monster? There are a few ways to fight imposter syndrome, some may work better for you than others. Here are some of my favorites:
- Reminding myself of my successes. In particular, I try to write down any ‘win’ or positive feedback that I have received as a reminder that I am both intelligent and worthy of the space that I take up in the world. By writing down these achievements, however small, I can turn to them whenever I begin to feel as though I should not be here.
- Talk, talk, talk. I have made sure to find my support system and the people with whom I can confide in to share exactly how I am feeling. I cannot emphasize this enough. Talking to my parents and close friends always lightens my mood. If you are not sure who to talk to, I would also recommend checking out the counseling center. In particular, the Graduate Division Counselor Phong Luong is one of the greatest resources you have at your disposal while here at UCI. Find a small blurb about him – and his contact information – here: https://www.grad.uci.edu/spotlights/faculty/phong-luong.php.
- Reminding myself that I am in graduate school to learn. It is inevitable that I will find some concepts more difficult to understand and comparing myself to anyone else fails to give myself credit for the stage in graduate school that I am in currently. As long as I can make small strides in learning, I know that that is enough. Making small goals that I can meet is a great way to do just that. Personally, I use sticky notes to make daily to do lists to help achieve my daily goals (and my larger planner for the long-term ones).
- Take a break! There is nothing like a system recharge. Whether that is going out for a meal at a restaurant I love, getting some exercise in, reading a book, watching some Netflix, or enjoying the beaches we have at our disposal, breaks are always a great way for me to hit the reset button – and are ways that I treat myself for reaching goals.
I hope this blog post can serve as a reminder of our collective struggles whenever you can feel a bout of imposter syndrome approaching. Do not forget to check out the below resources in case you would like some further reading on the matter. Welcome to graduate school, and remember, you got this!