Learning and Loving

Good evening friends,

To be absolutely frank, I just woke up from a 2-hour nap and that is why this post is going up late. I am literally writing it 55 minutes late when I meant to do it after my 9 a.m. class or after lunch or after my “quick nap”. But that takes me to my point.

Rather than actually focusing on what I needed to do today, I went to class, listened to the Taylor Swift album (which is very good and I am still listening as I am typing right now), and just hung out. Yes, I am 4 hours behind on my reading and yes I do have a research paper due on Tuesday but I didn’t get to any of that. Instead, I layed down on my dorm’s (very comfy) rug and knocked out. I slept. No alarm. Friday afternoon. I slept. Now, I am awake and I am glad I did it no matter all of the crap that “later” entails.

You see, since the quarter has started, I began my own journey of productivity and positivity–you know the gist.

I told myself, “I am going to put myself out there, I am going to seize the day and reach for my ambitions” And I did. I reached far to push by my fears, my anx. I am continuing to challenge myself, academically and personally. Personally, I would like to say I put the carpe in “carpe diem”.

And as exciting as everything is, it has also been equally exhausting.

Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying myself. I am learning a lot, meeting new people, joining clubs. Loads of fun; but I do miss the quietness of a slower lifestyle.

It seems that the hustle culture I am experiencing is moving so fast. So fast that every new “check-off” of my to-do list is 3 more scheduled events or homework assignments. So fast that I am neglecting a lot of myself in order to accomplish what I am expected to accomplish or, at least what I expect myself to accomplish.

For now, it’s a kind of busy that I am still learning to appreciate. Emphasis on “learning”: slowly, we are getting there.

Just in the few weeks that I have been here, the drastic environmental change has, at least for me, undone a lot of the patience I showed myself during the summer. Obviously, there’s more on my plate now but also because of the urgency that being a college student automatically requires.

So that is why I decided to protest it. I needed that nap after late night dance practices and the busyness of too much homeworks. Needed it. To breathe a little. To sit down and do nothing and to say “to hell with all of it”. No more things I have to do. I layed on that rug because I chose to listen to me, my body, and my needs.

I think that as students now a days, we are taught the importance of productivity; and I think it’s important for us, not just as students but as people to take a step back and put ourselves first.

So that is something I have learned recently. This post was, honestly, rushed so expect greater quality from my posts in the future; sincerely I apologize for the sub-par-ness of this first one–I know it is not a good color but again, to hell with it!

So goodbye, I will see you soon and until then, be kind to yourself.

with love,

jaden