Last quarter was incredibly difficult for me. I am a chronic procrastinator, and I have been ever since I was young. In high school, it wasn’t such a big deal, because my teachers would understand my circumstances as a neurodivergent individual, allowing me to receive minor accommodations. When high school teachers tell you that “This won’t fly in college,” in some aspects they’re right. Without academic responsibility, college is very stressful. As many procrastinators know, it’s easy to stress about upcoming deadlines but it’s incredibly difficult to do something about it. Even entering the winter quarter, I’m still struggling with procrastination.
My plans for the winter quarter are somewhat conflicting. I still want to maintain time for my hobbies like gaming, painting, and talking to my friends. One thing that has been especially challenging is mustering the self control to put down my sketchbook, close my laptop, or stop typing on my phone. College is a new experience for a lot of people, where we don’t have our parents keeping us accountable. I’m sure that some of my peers have been able to keep themselves on task throughout high school, but a large proportion of students, especially those who have learning disabilities, may not be used to self accountability. I’m certainly not used to it. Socially, it’s been difficult for me to ask for help from people. I don’t feel like I know anyone well enough to ask them to help keep me accountable.
Some things I’ve done differently from Fall to Winter are changes in eating habits, sleep, and exercise. At the beginning of the year, I was absolutely terrified of eating alone in the dining hall. I’m not sure what about it scared me so much, but the idea of people perceiving me while eating was very uncomfortable. I would often skip meals and eat substitutes like cheese and crackers or instant ramen and a protein bar. Sometimes the irrational anxiety would also creep up elsewhere, like sitting near people when few seats were available in a class. In terms of sleep, the first quarter I wasn’t able to manage my sleeping habits very well. I’d stay up until 2 or 3 AM, scrolling on my phone. On weekends, I’d sleep until 2 or 3 PM, and not leave my room at all. This quarter, I’ve found a few ways to get out of bed before noon. I try to find activities to do on weekends like trips with the Goth Club or weekend practices for Belegarth, a foam fighting sport. Belegarth also helps me be more active. In high school, I participated in color guard and drumline, which kept me active enough. Over the summer and during the Fall Quarter, I had difficulty motivating myself to be active, resulting in more severe symptoms of my chronic pain. In finding an activity that I enjoy, I can actually get motivated to get more active!
This winter, I’m excited to write for any readers of the ZotBlog who may feel like they don’t have it all figured out. I’m with you, and we can work on improving our habits together!
