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Learning and Loving

Good evening friends,

To be absolutely frank, I just woke up from a 2-hour nap and that is why this post is going up late. I am literally writing it 55 minutes late when I meant to do it after my 9 a.m. class or after lunch or after my “quick nap”. But that takes me to my point.

Rather than actually focusing on what I needed to do today, I went to class, listened to the Taylor Swift album (which is very good and I am still listening as I am typing right now), and just hung out. Yes, I am 4 hours behind on my reading and yes I do have a research paper due on Tuesday but I didn’t get to any of that. Instead, I layed down on my dorm’s (very comfy) rug and knocked out. I slept. No alarm. Friday afternoon. I slept. Now, I am awake and I am glad I did it no matter all of the crap that “later” entails.

You see, since the quarter has started, I began my own journey of productivity and positivity–you know the gist.

I told myself, “I am going to put myself out there, I am going to seize the day and reach for my ambitions” And I did. I reached far to push by my fears, my anx. I am continuing to challenge myself, academically and personally. Personally, I would like to say I put the carpe in “carpe diem”.

And as exciting as everything is, it has also been equally exhausting.

Don’t get me wrong, I am enjoying myself. I am learning a lot, meeting new people, joining clubs. Loads of fun; but I do miss the quietness of a slower lifestyle.

It seems that the hustle culture I am experiencing is moving so fast. So fast that every new “check-off” of my to-do list is 3 more scheduled events or homework assignments. So fast that I am neglecting a lot of myself in order to accomplish what I am expected to accomplish or, at least what I expect myself to accomplish.

For now, it’s a kind of busy that I am still learning to appreciate. Emphasis on “learning”: slowly, we are getting there.

Just in the few weeks that I have been here, the drastic environmental change has, at least for me, undone a lot of the patience I showed myself during the summer. Obviously, there’s more on my plate now but also because of the urgency that being a college student automatically requires.

So that is why I decided to protest it. I needed that nap after late night dance practices and the busyness of too much homeworks. Needed it. To breathe a little. To sit down and do nothing and to say “to hell with all of it”. No more things I have to do. I layed on that rug because I chose to listen to me, my body, and my needs.

I think that as students now a days, we are taught the importance of productivity; and I think it’s important for us, not just as students but as people to take a step back and put ourselves first.

So that is something I have learned recently. This post was, honestly, rushed so expect greater quality from my posts in the future; sincerely I apologize for the sub-par-ness of this first one–I know it is not a good color but again, to hell with it!

So goodbye, I will see you soon and until then, be kind to yourself.

with love,

jaden

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2022-2023 Zot Blog: Meet Jaden

Hi everyone, my name is Jaden and I am from the Sacramento Area, but it’s technically Elk Grove where most of my growing up happened.

It’s still weird to say “growing up” because to be completely frank, I still feel like a kid. I turn 18 in September and still it’s a very unreal idea that I am going to be a legal adult. But no matter the legality of, well me, I know that my “growing up” is definitely still happening.

As a phrase, growing up can mean a plethora of things. For example, understanding yourself is a part of that journey so shouldn’t I, as a grown up, know (or at least have a close idea) what career they want to dedicate their lives to. And yes, I know that most kids (kids?) my age are still figuring it out and there’s no rush, yada yada but that doesn’t stop being “undeclared” terrifying.

For me, undeclared isn’t exactly a safe spot as I wait in line to get into my major. I am sure many of us are in that situation which is great, you go and rock that certainty of yours, truly I am envious. But for me, being undeclared is a corner stop to learn and discover what it is that will make the essence of my future. There are too many things that I could imagine myself doing and choosing just one out of the bajillion one of my interests is insanity. It feels like there are all of these fun, interesting and world-changing lives that could belong to me but only one could truly be mine. Nerve wracking right?

To contextualize this, here is what runs through my head when I think about what major I want to be: I love going outside and enjoying the peace of nature so…environmental science? Wait, I dislike math and Environmental Science means I will have to do math. Plus I have never been much of a science person, bad handwriting makes tracking data hard. English has always been a great passion of mine, but what would I do with English?

I really enjoy writing so it’s definitely a possibility. Unfortunately though, I haven’t heard of that many rich English Majors. But again, do I really need to be rich?

I wasn’t very rich this summer but it was still a lot of fun. Despite my sad attempts of applying to pretty coffee shops and libraries, and In-N-Out, most employers want me to be 18 or aren’t willing to hire short term.

But even without a reliable source of income, me and my friends made the best of our three months.

I finally earned my driver’s license so at least I wasn’t stuck at home. Most of my warm afternoons were in the grass of comfy parks, binging my summer reading list and just enjoying the stillness of nature. And when I wasn’t outside, I was catching up with friends and trying all of the yelp-approved restaurants in Sacramento.

But going out every day gets really expensive so my friends and I also had to get creative: lake days, group painting sessions, evening picnics, taking advantage of cheap Tuesday specials at drive-ins, and simply just enjoying boredom in the presence of one another for one more summer.

So that’s how my summer has been and scarily, it’s ending as fast as this whole university thing is coming up. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous but at least the possibilities make this chapter exciting; if the end of this story is happening right now, that means that another’s being written right?

A brand new narrative filled with different people, in a new, big city, and most importantly, freedom from my strict Chinese parents. I can’t wait to see how much I learn.

So that’s me, nice to meet you.