Month: November 2018

Some people inherit the gift of being social butterflies. Charisma oozes from their every pore. Their charm grabs the attention and hearts of those around them. They would probably be exceptional insurance or cars salesmen.

Unfortunately, I am not one of those select few.

With my social skills, I probably garner the same amount of interest from people as a pet hamster does from a 12-year-old child. Initially, the interaction seems engaging to both parties, and there appears to be a bond forming. Well, the connection never cements. And five minutes later, they lose interest quickly and move onto something else.

Especially as someone that moved during their junior year of high school, surely I must have picked up on a few conversation skills. But even with having to form friendships all from scratch when everyone around me had been best buddies since sharing a cubby-hole in first grade, there simply were no improvements in those departments… No greater understanding of social cues. No refined techniques at striking up small talk. No common sense to shut up at some point on how Peter Gadiot from Queen of the South is the love of your life when you converse about favorite Netflix shows.

However, in spite of being a commuter that leaves campus right after class to chauffer their younger sibling to and from school and their extracurriculars, I was able to form a pretty solid core group of friends.

When you are a first year and a commuter, it is easy for the excitement of meeting new people to be quickly overshadowed by anxious thoughts of if you can even find anyone to connect with in the first place. Your first friend is not the roommate that shares an almost identical schedule of classes. You do not have an immediate group of friends from the people you see every day in your dormitory halls. And sometimes, you feel as if you do not have enough time to actually get to know someone especially if you have stilted social mannerisms.

But, there are thousands of other students on campus. Hundreds of them are just as new. Many of them just as socially awkward.

The biggest secret to making friends in college? Do not be afraid to say hi.

At first, you wonder if it would be considered annoying or an invasion of personal space if you sat in the seat right directly next to an individual in a lecture. Even so, you would be surprised at how many people respond back positively to you initiating a conversation. That’s how I met three of my current best friends. Additionally, eventually with such a large number of students, you will meet someone with similar interests, quirks, and celebrity crushes. And if none of those two pieces of advice worked out well, you can always bond with someone over a food outing. Long periods of silence are not always necessarily awkward if you and other people are sharing Chick Fil A waffle fries in that time frame.

For me, one word that accurately sums up the midterm experience is yikes. Midterm week was not the most painful experience I have gone through. However, I honestly have an exponentially better time sitting through two hours of rush hour traffic on the way home compared to when I sat down for fifty minutes to take an exam.  

As someone who passed all of the AP tests they took during high school, I thought the same success would be duplicated college. Just keep your head down and work hard. Do not spend class time fixated on Peter Gadiot’s Instagram feed. Take a few hours the day before to study. Then it should not be too taxing to ace midterms, right?

Well, my strive for fives during high school quickly translated over into pleas for C’s at UCI. I studied for eight hours only to earn a grade that the teachers displayed on their post-exam score distribution bar graphs as barely average. Yes, I was incredibly disappointed with my results. Yes, I was incredibly envious towards the few of my peers who earned an almost perfect score. Yet, I probably deserved an even lower grade than the two seventy percent marks I received.

With round two of chemistry and biology midterms in two weeks and math in two days, I try to follow the advice I am giving now. One of the best habits I wish I had picked up on earlier was beginning to review at least four days before an exam. Though waiting until the last minute to study does mean you will be older. Unfortunately, it does mean you will be any wiser. Also, midterms do not measure how much information you cram in. They test how much information you can put out.

Two, get enough sleep. The few hours of studying you gain from skipping out on shut-eye is borrowed time. The stress of midterms was more than enough without sleep deprivation compounding it by giving me the mental capacity of a three-year-old. Also, especially as someone who typically does not drink coffee, I do not recommend doing so the day of midterms. Caffeine let me experience a momentary energy rush. But the effects of the high wore off quickly. And the crash was brutal. In my sleep-deprived daze, I had not noticed I wandered into the bike lane when walking back to my car. I am terribly sorry to all those bikers I inconvenienced and whose paths I impeded that day.

Three, find a balance between overconfidence and pessimism. Midterms are supposed to be difficult. I may not have gotten the results I desired on the last two midterms I recently took, but there is still one more plus a final. I guess instead of retaining a self-defeatist attitude, I just have to work harder towards the next two opportunities presented to me.

A fourth and final piece of advice. You may look up towards the heavens for inspiration. Down at your test in concentration and determination. But unless you also want to see the Dean, refrain from looking right or left out of desperation. 

Good luck to the rest of you during your next midterms!